Whoever invented snoring should be shot.
After 15 years Mr. Man has decided he's going to learn how to snore.
It took me months to get used to his mouth breathing irregularities when we first began to share a bed. But, I did it. I have even come to depend on his 'breathing' to sleep peacefully.
Snoring is a whole different ball of wax. With snoring, it's not just a matter of really funky deep breathing issues with the occasional pause for 1 or 2 seconds to freak the crap out of me....no.....snoring now adds snorting, gurgling and full-scale pauses for breath.
I'm a white noise kinda girl. Gotta have a fan. Anything without a consistent 'whir' to it wakes me up. Breathing whirs...snoring does not.
To top it off Mr. Man has also now decided in his unconscious state to start sleeping on his right side....facing me....
Um. Yeah. I fear I may have to sleep in a different room.
Am I a total hypocrite? You betcha. Do I snore? Absolutely. Do I have toxic breath? OOOH yeah! But I've been snoring all 15 years. It's not something I decided to add in to spice up the marriage. He's used to it. He sleeps through it (or so he tells me). And the breath was never an issue, cuz he always slept on his left side!
Here's why it's ok for me and not for him:
#1- I don't hear me.
#2- I don't smell me.
#3- I don't wake me out of a dead sleep at 2 am.
I know there is logic in here somewhere. Although in my sleep deprived state, I'm not sure where.
Once awakened in the middle of the night, I rarely go back to sleep without first enjoying a few hours of ceiling staring. Or the feeble attempt to doze my way back to complete sleep. It never works. Oh wait....it does, only I usually fall asleep with about an hour to an hour and a half left before the alarm goes off.
Good times, good times.
Ok, well, I'm going to go and attempt to sleep on my couch, provided the dog doesn't think he needs to keep touching my hands with his wet nose or give me kisses just because I'll be on his level.
Here's hoping you slept well!
- I am 45. I am married to the love of my life. Together we have two beautiful young adults who bring me joy everyday. In 2015 we added another beautiful young adult to our house, our niece, and she has been a great joy! Secretly, I'm counting the years till grandbabies start coming; they just need to find their forever loves first.