Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Whoever invented snoring should be shot.

After 15 years Mr. Man has decided he's going to learn how to snore.

It took me months to get used to his mouth breathing irregularities when we first began to share a bed. But, I did it. I have even come to depend on his 'breathing' to sleep peacefully.

But snoring....
Snoring is a whole different ball of wax. With snoring, it's not just a matter of really funky deep breathing issues with the occasional pause for 1 or 2 seconds to freak the crap out of now adds snorting, gurgling and full-scale pauses for breath.

It's irregular.

I'm a white noise kinda girl. Gotta have a fan. Anything without a consistent 'whir' to it wakes me up. Breathing whirs...snoring does not.

To top it off Mr. Man has also now decided in his unconscious state to start sleeping on his right side....facing me....

Um. Yeah. I fear I may have to sleep in a different room.

Am I a total hypocrite? You betcha. Do I snore? Absolutely. Do I have toxic breath? OOOH yeah! But I've been snoring all 15 years. It's not something I decided to add in to spice up the marriage. He's used to it. He sleeps through it (or so he tells me). And the breath was never an issue, cuz he always slept on his left side!

Here's why it's ok for me and not for him:
#1- I don't hear me.
#2- I don't smell me.
#3- I don't wake me out of a dead sleep at 2 am.

I know there is logic in here somewhere. Although in my sleep deprived state, I'm not sure where.

Once awakened in the middle of the night, I rarely go back to sleep without first enjoying a few hours of ceiling staring. Or the feeble attempt to doze my way back to complete sleep. It never works. Oh does, only I usually fall asleep with about an hour to an hour and a half left before the alarm goes off.

Good times, good times.

Ok, well, I'm going to go and attempt to sleep on my couch, provided the dog doesn't think he needs to keep touching my hands with his wet nose or give me kisses just because I'll be on his level.

Here's hoping you slept well!


  1. Hi there! I found your blog through ravelry's Christian Artisan group. (On ravelry, I am "humblethreads")

    I just wanted to mention that I think your husband might have sleep apnea. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea last year. It sounds like from the "phenomena" you describe, he is actually experiencing apneas, short periods where he is having trouble breathing. It disturbs the sleep and can be really hard on the body (especially the heart). He can tell his doctor and get a simple test to determine if he is having a problem with sleep apnea. I hear that you can do an at home test where you just bring a small machine or monitor home. I went to a sleep lab to get tested, but it is kinda cool that you can test at home now. Hope this helps!

  2. I just wanted to add that if a person is found to have sleep apnea, then you get a small machine that helps you breathe. The machine runs very quietly, and the good news is...there is absolutely no snoring or open mouth breathing anymore.

  3. Thanks Susan!
    I talked to him about it and I think we'll both be making appts.

  4. I'm glad I could be of help. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I can also recommend a really awesome mask that I love. It's so comfortable. Getting my CPAP machine was a life changing experience. I actually feel rested and in a great mood when I wake up.

  5. Snoring. My husband has perfected that as well.....Gaah! :)

    Cheesyknitwit on Ravelry!

    Kay IRL


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