About Me

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I am 45. I am married to the love of my life. Together we have two beautiful young adults who bring me joy everyday. In 2015 we added another beautiful young adult to our house, our niece, and she has been a great joy! Secretly, I'm counting the years till grandbabies start coming; they just need to find their forever loves first.

Friday, January 25, 2013

What Was I Thinking?

It's official. I hate college. I ask myself almost every day.."What were you thinking??"

I know what I was thinking:
1) I want a degree to better my job choices/opportunities.
2) I want a degree, because I never finished the first time I went to college and I have always felt like a failure.
3) I want a degree so that I can show my children it can be done no matter what age you are.
4) I, specifically, want a business degree to enhance my entrepreneurial spirit.

Reasons I keep talking myself out of quitting:
1) What kind of example would I be setting for my kids?
2) Even though I keep saying 'what's the big deal about having a degree?', I know deep down in my heart it will actually improve my life.
3) I REFUSE to EVER pay another student loan back without a degree to go with it.
4) I feel like I've come too far to give up!

My last block of classes was ridiculously stressful. I was working the full-time job from hell, and trying to keep up with my Etsy Christmas orders, all while trying to be this amazing college student. Let me just say this:

No.

I now have a part-time job with absolutely no stress involved. I had 'difficulties' with a bad attitude towards one of my professors last block. This block I am humbling my pride and letting my critical thinking professor, who is younger than me, polish my edges and help me get better through his critiques. Boyyyy, is that hard. My flesh doesn't want to work that hard. This degree is going to have blood stains on it by the time I get done, but I'm getting it.

As with everything in life, it's all about attitude.

6 comments:

Bailey said...

Keep focused on your goals and you CAN get through this I promise. There are some classes/teachers that are more stressful than others. If you are going to school on a campus seek out groups that can help you work through the challenges, get advice on professors available for the classes you have to take, etc. Sometimes you have no options, but when you can take the less stressful path go for it.

You can do this!!

Dena said...

There is a photo with your blog name on it of several crocheted butterflies. Do you have a pattern? They are 3-D. Thank you!
Dena

Dena said...

Oh, on the full photo of the butterflies, it's either a mobile for baby or maybe a mobile/lamp.
Dena

Biz said...

Hi Dena. That isn't mine. Would you happen to have a link to the picture?

Jimmie Earl said...

Biz,
Don't you dare give up! Not that a degree is life's most important piece of paper, but you will disappoint yourself if you don't get it!!!
I have officially donned my "Biz Cheerleader" shirt and am ready to "rah-rah" you on.
Many college teachers need to get out into the real world once in a while. I taught night classes in English and Math and Professional Development at a Jr. College for a while as a 2nd job while teaching at the Middle School. I loved it! (Dealing with adults was easy after spending all day with teens.)
Maybe, when you get that coveted piece of "sheepskin" you can teach others. It's a thought!

Welcome said...

Wow, I'm amazed! I never thought I would meet someone in blog land who is actually facing the same challenges I am. I am a wife of a God-fearing husband, mother to three beautiful children. I also work a daytime job and crochet every spare minute AND I am busy with a community development degree!! Pleased to meet you Biz. I don't have a blog yet, but will soon. Keep your eyes fixed on your goals and you will succeed.