Friday, January 15, 2021

New Year, New Ideas, New Grace


Wasn't 2020 just something? I'm not sure what...but it was something. Much like everyone else I sort of wandered around the whole year in a daze just waiting for the next shoe to drop. It was the fastest, long year of my life. It felt like it flew by, but I felt every single day of every single month of the whole year from February to December. I finished off the year contracting COVID in November and slept my entire birth month away. It was rough. COVID is no joke. 

But, I survived and I'm still mending but doing so much better than I was even a month ago. This last year threw me into a need to feel life around me. I have decided that this year I am going to pursue keeping houseplants alive again. I used to be really good at it, but then I fell into a depression for a few years and let every single one of them die. Since then it's been a struggle. I feel like I'm ready to try again, and this time I'm going into it with a new intention.

I have also decided I am going to pursue that which makes me happy. I want to teach others what I know without necessarily putting a price tag on it. A lot of self-reflection has revealed to me that I stress out when I charge people money for my knowledge. Others will disagree, but I have always felt like God put certain gifts into my hands to bless others with. So, while I do charge for some of my patterns- a good majority of them are free. This year, you will see more free patterns and videos for both new and old patterns. How do we teach those with less or those that don't "have" if we don't first give of ourselves? 

Does that mean every pattern I put out will be free? No. Patterns take a time and monetary investment from not only me but also those I ask to test my patterns to make sure they are free of errors for you. There has to be a balance. 

I also want to learn new things this year. On top of my list are yarn dyeing, macrame, and weaving. I keep sitting off to the side and thinking, "Gosh, I'd like to learn that someday...but I just need..." the time or the finances or something else that holds me back. This year I have decided that I can do these things in small doses. Instead of going out and buying EVERYTHING I need to start something, I will buy supplies one at a time. Am I playing the long game with my patience and willingness to learn? You bet I am. Is there a potential to lose interest? Yes. But, that is why I am being thoughtful about my process. While I'm building my supply, I am taking the time to watch videos put out by experts and hobbyists to familiarize myself with the tools and processes. Delayed gratification doesn't have to be just waiting. Staring at the checkbook, watching the mailman, getting upset because I can't have it faster. In the waiting is the best time to prepare yourself! Don't waste the waiting time. 

Last, but not least, I have decided to give myself lots of grace.  I feel pretty banged up after last year. Mostly because of the pressure I put on myself and I wore myself out. This year I intend to lighten the heck up. I came into 2021 getting rid of the negativity in my life (and I will continue to do that in the days ahead) and I have felt a greater sense of creativity than I have in a while. Finishing up the blanket my son asked me to make for him two years ago took such a weight off my shoulders. This year I have soooooo many ideas it is ridiculous and I'm not entirely sure I can complete them all. 

A couple of themes keeping rising up inside me for designs. I want to tap into my Norwegian heritage heavily this year. I have at least two large and one smaller design idea that will center around Vikings and traditional Norwegian designs. My heart is also leaning heavily toward designing more toy bags. I haven't designed a new toy bag in several years. My last one was my Safari bag and I think that came out in 2018 or somewhere close to that. So, we will see what actually gets accomplished this year. I know this...even if I don't get to them all I won't beat myself up for not completing things. 

I can't be all things all at once, so I will take it nice and slow. I hope to see you on my journey!

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